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[08 Nov 2009|01:53pm] |
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Wows. Did I really gets a big ol' medal? I dunno what to say. I mean, wow. I bucket-kicked a Death Eater, but I never do nothing right so this is just wows. Cheers, Minister and really, methinks, this awardy is more for all that have you know had a crap time or suffered. I just want everything to be good again and for all y'all to be glee and keen and safe. Safe. What a word, yiz?
Oi, Hopkins. I still digs ye.
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[27 Oct 2009|02:36pm] |
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[Warded to Francis and Holly]
Is this our life? Really? Because I dun get it. I just don't. Why are folk dying and mates goin' and why is the lot of all us so yanno like this: apart or some shiz rather than together, yanno? Likes I dun get whys we all separate instead of stick it as one when this all goes toddy-boom. I want it all to be like it was two years ago, yiz? Even with the Carrows.. we were all kickin'. I dun think I find any girls attractive anymore not one, not any. I just want to never see things again.
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[05 Oct 2009|08:38am] |
I don't really feel like writing in here anymore.
I dunno, more folk bit the big one and alls us do is argy n' be right mean. Everyone makes me sad.
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[30 Sep 2009|08:27am] |
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So, thuz is an auction coming up. That sounds neato, only ay do not think wamma buy me a laddie! Are any of the custy judys doing it? But ay tinnie dead only offer a few mars bars, a fuzzy hat, and a some lint covered spondies (mostly sickles, i's skint). Should be sound as a pound, though. Ay hope it is! Ay just found my journal afti losing it for a while. I found it bied under a pile of clobber, if ye are wondering. The leather cover still kind of smells a blind bit ropey, like chicken soup and spunk because I have been getting a whole lotti clunge. I's bettin' Harry gets the most rips for it, yiz. Probably some tinnie dead owd bird with lotti spondies (this time mostly galleons, yiz). Go on lads that are doing it, bang it out!
Dun really have a list, with all the shiz that's been going on I can't really find it in me heart to compare ye ladies. Yer all super fit. Except the Slytherins.
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[12 Sep 2009|08:16pm] |
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Lets all be Charlie honest here, yiz? Padma ought not be tried anyhoo cos she's super fit. Fit as fuck, reals, and yanno, that is enough saving grace. I mean, we alls did unforgivables, the Carrows made us. I think I killed a spider or something and a death snacker thingy so, yiz, i support padma!
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[01 Aug 2009|03:44pm] |
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Da took my dictaquill away cos I was being too loud, like a man in a whorehouse. Mef. I see Hortense is still abouts. 'lo Tenny. Ta for makin' me appreciate meat a lot more.
I'm nots gonna bother with a list this arvo. Instead I thinks it is important to remind all that what's going on, y'know, is a real sham. I'm not sure what pretending to be a dead girl is alls about really, but if yous get your excitement from that, then whats that got to says? I'll tell you. You're pathetic. You lot are pathetic, and you are pingy in scent, and as shirtliftin' as the purist lads in Slytherin. You couldn't even kill me and I'm dead worthless. I killed one of you at Hogwarts and you gave me some scars and let me tell you, fit judys rate scars, so cheers.
Vick, I think if someone is gonna have a passionate loves affair they should do it in the open. The moment really dead should make them just do it on a table in the great hall. Now that'd be a fuckin' painting. I'ds hang it right in my room, over my bed.
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[02 Jul 2009|07:57pm] |
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I am never going to nots use my dictaquill. It's dead brill. I get to hear myself speak and don't hurt my thumbs writing. Ace all around!
I've not much to say except today my colon decided to shows me its own version of SHOCK AND AWE. It's not reserved just for the royal forces now, yiz! It still hurts down there. Anyone else had a vicious poo lately? I wonder if it is the Mars bars.. does anyone else have such troubles with eating lots of choccie?
Best Hair
1. Tracey Davis (it shines like spun gold or the sun, her hair is quite dead perfect. I would like to wake up to it tickling my chin underneath, yiz. I touched it once passing her in the corridor. She didn't notice.)
2. Daphne Greengrass (it has the texture of silk and the shades of chocolate and vanilla, it makes me want to right eat her up. I touched it once in the Great Hall. She didn't notice)
3. Blythe Hancock (it reminds me of delicious strawberries with its colours and scent. I touched it once in class. She noticed, but I blamed it on my quill)
4. Abigail Runcorn (it is really big and springy and when I touched it, she didn't notice, cos there was a LOT OF IT, and it felt like my hand was on a mattress of awesome)
5. Melinda Bobbin (she must be Norwegian and Scandinavians are right fit, aren't they? Yiz, she's a fiesty little one and how she goes from curly to straight, it drives me right mental. I touched it once at Hogsmeade and she didn't notice)
An' since this is a wholes Slytherin list - which is dead weird, yiz? - I have to mention Charis Burke, too, cos its the only nice thing about her. It's dark and shiny and I touched it once and she nearly gave me a square bargy to the kisser. I was never close enough to Pansy Parkinson to make a touch for SCIENTIFIC REASONS and thus she is omitted. What you gonna do about me talkin' about your birdie, Malfoy? But a full Slytherin list, Merlin's tattered pants. I am a traitor. I feel right like Gayson.
Tristan, Francis, my men, let us away tomorrow arvo after workski for a brewski and a groovy club to pick up judy's. This time I will not get binbagged by 'em all, no ways.
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[23 Jun 2009|07:21pm] |
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Having a dictaquill rules.
I just speak and words appear. It's like magic! Ace. I'm never going back to writing by hand, that is dead antwacky. Da's being feelin' dead mingin' for the whole "assault" so I'm brewsted right now, which is an ace change from being on me arse. Mona's party was bags of buli, not to mention watching Gayson dance around like a shirtlifer and wingy was great crack. He has moves. Wayne-oh has a dead proper singing voice when he's panto'ing a judy. You don't know a do until you've gone to a Hufflepuff one.
Still, it was a difficult time. Ioan should've been there. I raise my topshiner to him. There ain't a better lad than him.
Thus, the scientific research today is in his right honour. Blokes and birds I bring to you the top best tits in the grand ol' school we all went to.
Top 5 Chesticle Bits
1. Millicent Bulstrode (very firm, very taut, remind me of mine, which means must be perfo)
2. Susan Bones's left tit (you will notice, if you squint, this one is a bit more PERKY. It certainly has more bounce in it when she is rounding corners)
3. Lavender Brown (just look for yourself, wayo!)
4. Lisa Turpin (why helllooooo THERE!)
5. Susan Bone's right boob (i have named this one splosh because that's what we calls spondies in my Liverpool home)
IF IT WASN'T FOR THE MONOPOLY OF BONES: Bianca Spinks is next in line. Cricket clap, yiz?
Girls with alley apples for the nips got docked a few points in the overall fitness scale because who wants to shag a man? I could name you, but I think we all know who isn't carryin' in the terms of assets, eh lads, eh?
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[15 Jun 2009|08:20pm] |
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Being here on my tod because I am a mef is right last. Bollocks. Alicia brought me a dictaquill to give me something to do, so hello. As you can see I have lived. They didn't even know what to do with me. One jab to the left, a Catholic kiss to the temple, and a Kirkby kiss, and then I tried to do one and now, I'm here. But birds dig scars, right? Right????
Da brought along my scientific research, as well, but I thoughts I would instead flap my gums like a parish oven about the lezzy who was at my kidnapping. She was dead mingin', but I'd get tapped with her. If it hadn't been for the two shirtliftin' werewolves I might've had a chance, y'know? Sadly, I'm not one to fight well against BIG TEETH.
Apparently I will get hairy. I am going to look so great. This rules.
BEST SKIN
1. Daphne Greengrass. Her skin is soft and luscious like a creamsicle pop on a hot summer day. Yeah. It is. Or like a ripe peach. With lots of juice.
2. Mona Quirke. I enjoy looking at her unblemished surface whenever possible. It reminds me of a Greek statue's bum.
3. Blythe Hancock. I like to imagine her using raspberry and vanilla scented lotion. BLYTHE, WHAT DO YOU USE? YOU SMELL NICE, TOO.
4. Vicky Frobisher. She has well-maintained hands, which would be nice to feel stroking you.
5. Charis Burke. She probably bathes in the blood of infants.
Honourable mention to Hortense Hornby because even though she is decomposing, it felt nice when she nuzzled her face into mine and tried to rip my throat out. Despite the stubble.
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[10 Jun 2009|06:12am] |
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For the last six years I have been bothered by a question left unanswered. While my education was top-flight at Hogwarts, the professors never taught the important things. Yes, I can transfigure a chair into a torch if it is dark, but how do I determine which girl to ask on a date? As such, I took it upon myself to draw up an unbiased list ranking the girls at our esteemed place of education. I have also decided over the course of still possessing this journal to release the independent findings (in lists of five) that contributed to final ranking of all the girls in the classes of 1998 and 1999. Oh, I omitted all those who.. well, some of you moved up in the rankings.
I like to think I am a scientist.
Now.
BEST ASSES
1. Sasha Roper. (Lads, do I need to explain?)
2. Morag McDougal. (Merlin. The word awesome can be applied here.)
3. Daphne Greengrass. (You'd think it was just flat, but it surprisingly is not. That pleasant shock really moves her up in the rankings.)
4. Megan Jones. (Bounce. Sway. Bounce and sway.)
5. Ruby Savage. (Pert.)
I have photos if evidence is needed.
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[01 Jun 2009|01:35pm] |
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If I was born the same day that you died should that make me try? I was born the same day that you died, should that make me feel more alive not just sometimes but always( ? )
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